I found these at the Goodwill today and suddenly I had the whole nursery planned. I’m not pregnant. Not sure it will/can happen. But how perfect would this be?! 

Grayish walls with an accent wall painted a soft yellow. On the yellow wall these signs, big stars painted in matching colors and those star-wall-lamps from IKEA, all collaged above the crib,  or changing table/dresser duo. Probably the dresser. 

And then I had to shake my head. Tell myself to wait. Those pictures will hide behind the closed door of the empty room until there is a positive pregnancy test. 

Even then I know nothing is guaranteed until the second trimester, well, really birth. 

It got real, real fast.  Doesn’t help I struggle with depression. The spiral down happens in an instant. As if infertility isn’t hard enough! This journey is full of unknowns and difficulties. I hope I’m strong enough and that my meds hold me together and don’t harm a future baby. 

Fingers crossed and accepting baby dust.