What to Say to Someone with Infertility

I promise, this is the last post on infertility for awhile. But there have been friends that have reached out asking how to support me.

The easiest and shortest is a version of “I love you.”

The theory is to validate my feelings. Much like what I talked about in my empathy post.

What NOT to say

There isn’t a way to fix it. I understand you want to help but offering advice usually doesn’t help. I have a Reproductive Endocrinologist for that.

What really hasn’t been helpful is anything that relates to “it’s part of God’s plan.” I’ve read stories from plenty of other women who have been on this journey a lot longer than I and it doesn’t seem like a very good plan. Women, couples, who desperately want to be parents and would be darn good ones; don’t get that opportunity. But the teenager experimenting, the druggie, the women who really doesn’t want kids and emotionally neglects them – they can have a child; how is that part of any good plan? (Rhetorical.) Maybe I’m lacking faith but that’s where I am (and a lot of other women). It really isn’t fair. It really doesn’t make any sense.

I’m not brave enough to put my words into a video but this sweet women did. I share this video with her permission. You can find the rest of her videos here or  follow her on Instagram @carissabarzee.

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